Ackronyms for Men
(This article was taken from the December 1995 issue of "Self" magazine,
written by Stephanie Dolgoff.)
SNAGs? WIPs? TODs? What do you call a man if wuss or hunk fails to cover
all the subtleties of a time when everyone seems to be in therapy, scared
of commitment, working through issues or just coming off a bad breakup?
In the spirit of DINS (Double Income No Sex), we've compiled the
essential guide to love and disfunction using acronyms to sum up the men
and the mind-boggling situations that everyone has encountered while
pursuing a real relationship.
SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy)
Searching for a sensitive guy? Be careful you don't hit a SNAG.
These guys use moves they've picked up from the _sincerely_ empathetic
tupes to they , in turn, can pick up women. They walk the walk by letting
you pay for dinner after yoga class, and even talk the talk - "I'm really
concerned about how you feel" - but they never really listen. Fear not;
After encountering a few SNAGS, you'll be able to spot the truly
sensitive guy when he comes along.
WIP (Work In Progress)
A guy with potential whom you take on knowing that you'll be
spoon-feeding him tips on basic social skills: "If you could ask me how
I'm doing once in a while, that would be really great" or, depending upon
your standards, "Honey, that's a fork. We use it to eat."
ICH (I'll Change Him)
You have an ICH (pronounced "itch") when you tend tragically
toward WIPs. Best bet: Scratch the WIPs off your list and leave the ICH
syndrome to someone with nothing better to do.
PG (Probably Gay)
If he's handsome, smart, funny, unmarried and utterly
uninterested in you, he gets a PG rating. Yes, it's politically
incorrect. No, it's never 100 percent accurate. Of course, it's not fair.
But egos must be preserved.
TOD (Therapy Overdose)
You know you're dating a TOD (pronounced "toad") when he can't
seem to stop using phrases like "compulsive personality," "codependency,"
and "obsessive" to justify the error of his ways or to criticize your
perfectly human foibles. TODs tend to use therapy jargon to dodge
responsibility, as in "I recognize I have issues around monogamy, but
transferring pent-up anger about your father makes me want to retreat,"
rather than admitting to having slept with his coworker. Again.
NIC (Now I'm Cool)
NICs are those guys who have never gotten over being considered
dweebs in high school and are intent on making up for lost time by
cutting a wide remantic swath through the female population. "If I can
date her, I must be able to get someone better," they think during the
middle of your third - and final - date.
YOC (You Ordered Coffee)
A YOC date (pronounced "yuck) is one where he insists on dividing
the check to the penny, according to how many fries and and cups of
coffee you each consumed. He won't be sexually or emotionally generous
IBM (Ideal Breeding Material)
Having just set eyes on an IBM, you're already calculating your
possible genetic combinations with him and visualizing what your child
would look like if he were the dad.
MOL (My Other Line)
MOL describes the use of an actual or imagined call-waiting beep
to escape a conversation. "He wouldn't get off the phone, so I had to MOL
him." A gross breach of telephone etiquette, but it's an effective
PUP (Pick-Up Potential)
A PUP is anyone you deep worthy of your attention. For example,
you see a PUP on the stairclimber at the gym and you consider asking out
for a postworkout fruit juice.
SIS (Stud In Spandex)
A gym predator who peacocks in front of the full-length mirror,
the SIS only pauses to offer to spot you when you are hoisting those
arduous three-pound free weights. His interest lies in swapping sweat,
BOOR (Babe Out Of Reach)
The average-looking guy who wipes the mustard off his child's
shirt becomes a BOOR - instantly because he's unavailable.
Last modified November 23, 2001
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