You know you were born in Utah County...

1. If your wife's mother was pregnant at your wedding.
2. If when you shop on Sunday you postdate your checks.
3. If a temple recommend is a credit reference.
4. If Chuck-A-Rama is your favorite gourmet restaurant.
5. If your first date was to look at baby clothes.
6. If *Oh-My-Heck* is part of your vocabulary.
7. If a knife and fark are what you eat with.
8. If you call six months in advance to reserve Chuck-A-Rama for Thanksgiving.
9. If you get flipped off every time you drive.
10. If you flash your temple recommend to get out of a speeding ticket.
11. If you will drive to American Fark because coke refills are 10 cents cheaper.
12. If you think rooting for U of U will disqualify you for a temple recommend.
13. If you can't figure out how to pronounce ZCMI.
14. If you bring your own popcorn to the dollar movies.
15. If you think the Cougarettes are risque.
16. If you got called to be scout leader immediately after buying a 15 passenger van.
17. If you think Lard is a blasphemous name for animal fat.
18. If you save your Burger King cups so you can get free refills at any time.
19. If you have gained 10 pounds since Whoppers went to 99 cents.
20. If you can safely change lanes while giving a fellow happy valleyan the finger.
21. If Damn is a swear word.
22. If you could loose fifty pounds.
23. If you think the elders quorum is Allied Van Lines.
24. If you know BYU is true.
25. If all of your neighbors are involved in multi level marketing programs.
26. If you don't understand why Wymount Terrace is called the rabbit cages.
27. If you think you can be ex'd for telling BYU co-ed jokes.
28. If you can tell everyone about Word Perfect next merger.
29. If you can get free copies of any WordPerfect software.
30. If you think a Franklin planner is part of a triple combination.
31. If you think AMWAY is a ground level opportunity.
32. If your aunt is 3 years old.
33. If you play tabernacle records backwards to get jell-o recipes.
34. If you think UTA is government intrusion.
35. If you think drinking a bottle of Nyquil doesn't count.
36. If you think ordering from the 99 cent menu at Taco Bell is splurging(unless you order water).
37. If you think a BYU football loss is a sign that the team should repent.
38. If you think all cars come with rust.
39. If your brain expands when you drive over the point of the mountain.
40. If your idea of dining out is 3 dogs for a buck at Maverick.
41. If you think the KALL voice of reason should be silenced.

Last modified July 29, 1997
Created by Dayl Brinkman.
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